Sunday, 28 August 2011

Settling In

Well, I've now completed my second week of my new life and the changes that have taken place are incredible. As I said before, I spent the majority of my first week in agony, now, I feel revitalised and energetic after a workout. I've trained around five times this week and have even begun to reintroduce running into my workouts, albeit slowly. It seems that my fitness increases a tangable amount each time I train. This may be psychological, but that doesn't matter. The result is the same: I feel amazing.

Now, on to more pressing matters, my weigh in an measurements. Here's the damage:

Start - 12/08/2011                          End of week 2 - 28/08/2011

Weight - 168 kg                             Weight - 162.5 kg                                 
Chest - 53 ins                                         Chest - 53 ins                                         
Waist - 57 ins                                 Waist - 55.5 ins
Upper Arm left - 18 ins                    Upper Arm left - 18.5 ins
Forearm left - 14 ins                        Forearm left - 14 ins
Upper Arm right - 17 ins                  Upper Arm right - 17.5 ins
Forearm left - 13.5 ins                     Forearm right - 14 ins
Thigh left - 34 ins                           Thight left - 33 ins
Calf left - 21 ins                              Calf left - 21.5 ins
Thigh right - 34 ins                          Thigh right - 32 ins
Calf right - 22 ins                            Calf right - 22.5 ins

I'm fairly pleased with the results so far. As you'll see, there have been a couple of increases. That's because, as I've said before, I'm not only trying to lose fat, but also build up my upper body.

My diet has been really easy to maintain. During the first week, although I was eating a healthy three square meals a day, my stomach felt like it was turning inside out and I went to bed hungry every night, such was the shock of no longer stuffing my face all day long. However, that's now settled down, my stomach has contacted and my desire to eat has reduced, so now I'm finding it easy to eat sensibly, without craving lard sandwiches.

In terms of my state of mind, the sharp increase of activity, coupled with the good diet have resulted in a vast increase in the endorphines being released into my body, which, in turn, has resulted in my being in an almost constant good mood, with increased energy levels. All that remains now is for me to find a stable income and I'll be well on my way to happiness.

I'm ready for you, week three. There's no stopping me.


Sunday, 21 August 2011

Re-wiring the Computer

Well, I've made it through the first week of my new life and it hasn't been without its challenges. My new life started on 13th August with a weigh in. As well as the measurements I posted on my last blog, I want to also keep track of my weight. I've decided to do this on a fortnightly basis.

So, the big weigh in. As of 13th August 2011, I weigh 168 kg. Holy fucking hell. I want to get myself down to 100 kg, which is a massive challenge in itself, but as I'll also be building muscle mass, I'll actually end up losing even more to get to 100.

My first gym session was an experience of both huge positivity and an even more substantial reality check. I was feeling a huge sense of achievement and excitement at the start of this journey, but after the first few exercises, I soon realised that my body simply cannot do the things it used to. When I sat down at the Chest Press, my mind was going over all the old routine automatically, but it received a shock when it realised my Pecs weren't what they used to be, but I pushed through regardless. Additionally, because I'm carrying around 70 kg of excess weight and have been for a while, the joints in my legs and feet have starting feeling the stress. Because of this and my generally unfit state, I cannot run, so instead, I walk briskly and train on the bikes.

As I type, I've been to the gym now on six occasions since 13th August. Between Saturday and Wednesday, I fear my enthusiasm was slightly irrational, as I spent a large part of the week in considerable pain from the new exercise routine. My body truly was in shock and was taking every available opportunity to remind me of its dissatisfaction. So bad was it, that I could barely walk and my entire upper body was stiffer than a cryogenically frozen tumescent penis.

For this reason, rested on Thursday and Friday. My body needed to rest and I didn't want to injure myself further. 

On Saturday, my body had recovered completely. It seems that it was starting to remember the old days and the level of activity it used to do.

Because I'm so poor at the moment, being out of work, I've realised I need to cut down on my costs, and getting the bus to and from the gym is costing too much, so on Saturday I walked to the gym. The walk is 2.5 miles and largely pleasant, so I've decided to walk to and from the gym every time I go, which means that I'll be walking 5 miles a day. When I get to the gym, I'll have no need to train on any cardio, so I'll purely be going to lift weights. 

Of course, exercise isn't the only thing I need to do to achieve my goals, I also need to eat a healthy and balanced diet. This is simple enough on paper, but over recent years, I've developed somewhat of an eating disorder. I have used food for entirely the wrong reasons, as an emotional response. I have spent years overeating in secret and the sheer volume of food I've consumed would shock many who read this. As an example, one day, for lunch, I'd eat two huge bags of Doritos, followed by a kilo of risotto and a whole cheesecake. That was one meal. I ate three a day. It disgusts me that I ate like that but it makes me even more determined to make a change. However, this is not easy. I have to rewire my mind and my relationship with food. I need to change the way I think and the way I feel. So far it's working, but I'm only one week into this new life.

To add to the challenge, I still have my ongoing mental health issues. I found out this week that I suffer from Bipolar Affective Disorder and suspected ADHD. The treatment for the latter cannot begin until it's been confirmed, which will take several months. Behind me is a huge list of projects I've started but not finished. I'm DETERMINED that this will not be one of them. My life will exponentially improve in many ways if I reach this goal.

So, here begins week two. Bring it the fuck on.

Friday, 12 August 2011

I Got Sad

Exercise used to play a big part in my life. My teenage years were spent in the gym, well, the bits between masturbating and playing N64. I was in great physical condition, right up until my mid-twenties. This is what I looked like:

Then, something happened: I got sad. I got really sad. I stopped wanting to look good and feel good. Then something else happened: I woke up one morning and realised it was five years later and I was ten stone heavier. Now I feel sadder than ever, but something's different. I don't WANT to feel sad anymore, in fact, I'm sick of it. I'm bloated and sweaty. My legs hurt. I'm tired and sluggish. I HATE feeling like this and refuse to continue on this road. This is what I look like today:

Measurements - 12/08/2011:

Chest - 53 ins
Waist - 57 ins
Upper Arm left - 18 ins
Forearm left - 14 ins
Upper Arm right - 17 ins
Forearm left - 13.5 ins
Thigh left - 34 ins
Calf left - 21 ins
Thigh right - 34 ins
Calf right - 22 ins

I did something today. I joined a gym, a good gym. Today is the day. Today is the day that I make a positive change for once in my miserable life and do something that will actually help and benefit my general state of wellbeing. 

Here's the deal: Tomorrow is 13th August 2011 and I will start it with a trip to the gym. I will stop using food as an emotional response and sort my fucking life out. On 13th August 2012, I will be back in shape and I won't be sad anymore. While I do this, there will be tough times and I'm going to want to quit on a regular basis. I MUST not do this. I've quit everything I've ever started and this blog will be my way of chronicling my journey, as something to help me through the hard times and something to look back upon with pride. I'll post regularly and upload the odd photo too.

Wish me luck.