Sunday, 23 October 2011

The Wounded Demons

Alright? It's the end of week ten and I'm pleased to report that things are going pretty swimmingly. This week has been one of temptation and a genuinely busy diary, but things have not fallen by the wayside. In my last blog post, I told you all I would go to the gym Monday-Friday, but in reality, this simply wasn't possible. I've had portraits to paint, appointments to attend, volunteering to do, plans to make and people to see. I managed to visit the gym three times though, and had three pretty good, old-fashioned workouts. In terms of diet, I've most certainly settled in to that and it now feels like standard procedure to eat three, modest and healthy meals a day. Do I still feel the occasional pinch of tempation? Yes, but hardly ever. A big test this week was preparing my nephew's fifth birthday party with my Sister and Mum. We made Cake Pops, little chocolate cake balls, covered in melted chocolate and decorated with sweets. I can say with some confidence that each cake pop contains approximately 75 million calories, give or take. They the richest and most awesome things in the universe. Making them without drinking pints of melted chocolate was tough, but I'm defeating my demons and am realising that I DON'T HAVE TO EAT EVERYTHING I SEE. Also, I've discussed my unhealthy relationship with food on previous blogs. Sometimes, when I have something to celebrate, or I'm fucked off about something, I still think to myself, 'Right, I'm going home to eat the world and lay in bed'. Sometimes I forget that I don;t do that shit anymore, then I remember and laugh. I'm so proud that I can experience emotions without turning to food. 

I know I write like someone who resents food, but this isn't the case, I LOVE food. I'm forever watching cooking shows and love to cook, neither am I a food fascist. I can occasionally treat myself to certain things, but my desire to eat them in the first place has reduced. I really don't feel like I deprive myself of anything. I eat what I want to eat, and it just so happens that I only really want to eat healthy food. Like I said, I do occasionally get tempted to scoff some shit or other, but I now have faculties in place to say no, which I previously did not possess.

In other news, I now wear my belt at the tightest possible setting and it feels fantastic. The physical trasnformation I'm going through is such that my clothes fit a little better each and every time I wear them. Another of the biggest issues I had when I was at my fattest was the fact I sweated so fucking much. Honestly, I often looked like I'd been caught in a torrential downpour, such was the minging extent of my perspiration. This really has changed now. Evidence of this was yesterday in fact, when I helped set up/clear up Noah's party. I was lugging tables and chairs around, with not so much as a hint of the dreaded sweat.

Other news this week is that I've been painting a few portraits and loving it. Also, I'm curating a cubicle at Ben's Canteen, a wonderful bar/restaurant in Clapham. I'll be painting an awesome mural for the lovely people who run it, which should get me some more gigs. I also have an interview as a shop manager at Marie Curie Cancer Care on Wednesday. If I can get that job, it will be an awesomw way to pay the bills and support my other projects. Wish me luck....

Right, I can't put this off any further. It's time for my bi-weekly weight and measurement report. Here goes:

Start - 12/08/2011                          End of week 10 - 23/10/2011

Weight - 168 kg                             Weight - 141.9 kg                                 
Chest - 53 ins                                         Chest - 49.5 ins                                         
Waist - 57 ins                                 Waist - 50 ins
Upper Arm left - 18 ins                    Upper Arm left - 17 ins
Forearm left - 14 ins                        Forearm left - 13.8 ins
Upper Arm right - 17 ins                  Upper Arm right - 16.5 ins
Forearm left - 13.5 ins                     Forearm right - 13.2 ins
Thigh left - 34 ins                           Thigh left - 30.7 ins
Calf left - 21 ins                              Calf left - 20.5 ins
Thigh right - 34 ins                          Thigh right - 29.5 ins
Calf right - 22 ins                            Calf right - 21.2 ins

Well, what do you think? I'm chuffed to bits, especially considering my limited time for the gym this week. I've now officially passed the four stone mark, which is huge. I'm almost feeling like a proper person again!

Again, if you want to see previous results, have a look at my previous entries, blah blah.

In conclusion, I'm becoming increasingly busy, which is testament to my increased energy levels, I'm still training hard when I go to the gym, I'm still eating well, I'm still losing weight and still feeling better with every day that passes. If I can keep this up, my target is well within my reach. Ahead of me is another busy week, but I promise I'll be a good boy.

'It is said that time is the best healer, I disagree. You can have all the time in the world, but without being honest and communicative with yourself and possessing insight, you'll never heal'.

See you next week, you lovely lot. x

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